Controlling our brains
Posted on Mon, Oct 25, 2010
I recently came up with a new technique to use when my 5-year-old is having a temper tantrum. After one of these recent episodes (and the subsequent time-out), I sat down with him and gave a (very) rudimentary explanation of how his brain works.
Whenever he gets out of control–either with anger or crying or whatever–he tells me “My brain was controlling me.” So I, in turn, remind him that he controls his brain.
I told him that when he feels out of control, it’s because the part of his brain in the back of his neck (the brain stem) has taken over. This is the part that lets us know when we’re hungry or tired or hurt. In grown-up terms, this area controls the fight-or-flight response. It’s essential to our survival, but it’s also the part that causes people to behave “like animals.”
What differentiates people from other animals is our pre-frontal cortex (part of the frontal lobe, right behind your forehead). It is this part of the brain that allows us to problem-solve and think rationally. So I explained to my 5-year-old that he has to get the top part of his brain working to control the bottom part. How do you do this? By breathing. It’s as simple as that. Not just normal breathing, mind you, but the deep breaths that yoga teachers always want us to use.
I have frequently used some sort of breathing technique with both of my children, but they start to resist my game-like approach to this at a certain age. So now I’m giving them the real, scientific rationale (in kid-friendly terms, of course) to help them help themselves. So far (all of about a week), it’s worked like a charm. Check back with me in a couple of months to see if it’s still working. . .